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Christmas Fics!

  • Nov. 16th, 2009 at 8:29 PM
happy
Since I don't have enough time or money to send out Christmas cards, I figured this might be a nice alternative. Leave a comment if you want one.

When requesting a fic, please use the following form:
Poetry or Prose?:
Fandom:
Pairing:
Genre:
Type of Fic (Minific, Drabble, etc.):
Rating:
Any Other Specifics:


Some Guidelines and Caveats:
1. Please don't request anything over a thousand words.
2. If you ask for a slashfic, I'll gladly write it. Bear in mind, though, that it'll probably be the first one I've ever written.
3. Anything with a rating of R or over will either be co-authored or ghostwritten.
4. Submit form before 11:59 pm on December 23rd. I'll try to have all stories done by Christmas, but if I get everything at the last minute, I can't guarantee that they'll all be finished by then.
5. If you don't see the fandom you want on the list below, feel free to ask. I may or may not be able to write it.
6. I'll happily write a romantic fic for anything on this list but A Clockwork Orange.

Fandoms
Firefly/Serenity
Doctor Who (New and Old)
Earthsea
Harvest Moon
Harry Potter
Dungeons and Dragons
Are You Being Served?
Shakespeare
A Clockwork Orange

Conspiracy Theories*
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
RENT
Phantom of the Opera
Corpse Bride

*Pick your favorite. I'll write a fic about it, probably a humorous one.

O HAI SHITE

  • Sep. 17th, 2009 at 7:34 PM
Chaotic Neutral

Story Or Series Title: Secrethttp://i.ixnp.com/images/v3.59/t.gif
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Previously Unmentioned Suebling
Culprit Author's Name: Lumcer

Full Name (plus titles if any): Shie Amara Lieto Potter
Full Species(es): Harry's Sister
Hair Color (include adjectives): "dark brown hair matted" Has apparently been changed to long red hair. I'm getting hints of Ginny-envy.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "the shade of pearl blue"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Pale cheeks. A look that makes Harry think she’s going to be sarcastic.
Special Possessions (if any): Harry's guardianship. Bandages. A flashback. Babelfish German. A stu companion named Tuli. Screams that trigger Harry's PTSD.

Annoying Origin: AU!Lily's womb
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Harry's sister
Annoying Special Abilities: Can cow Harry with her super-angsty-bitchiness.
Other Annoying Traits: Possible membership to the Bemba Tribe. The aforementioned super-angsty-bitchiness.

Hallo again, Deleterius. Long time no see. I’m slightly out of practice, so I will be the only sporker today. As per usual, I am in bold.

Oh God. Not Draco. )

Aug. 23rd, 2009

  • 2:48 AM
alt happy 2
Title: Eggiwegs
Fandom: A Clockwork Orange
Genre: General, Character Study
Rating: PG
Characters: Alex, Nurse
Summary: He does love his eggiwegs.
Notes: Crossposted from my storylist on FF.net.

Had he been able to do so, she had no doubt that he would have clapped his hands like a little child. )

Mar. 13th, 2009

  • 1:21 PM
alt happy 2

So I'm thinking about writing a character study of GLaDOS.

Ever since I made the connection, I cannot stop thinking about her when I read "La Belle Dame sans Merci". So I figure this will have to play an integral part.

Also, I want to have the following line (or something like it) somewhere:
"This is her poem. Though self-analysis is easier, perhaps, for a sentient AI, she cannot say why. She has a strange fascination with it, despite its conspicuous lack of cake."

Thoughts?

ARGH!

  • Jan. 23rd, 2009 at 3:31 PM
alt happy 2


Story Or Series Title: Harry Potter vs Edward Cullen
Fandom: OMG RPATTZ WUZ A VAMPIRE AND CEDRIC IN DA MOVIES LETS RITE A KROSSOVER LOLOLOL
Culprit Author's Name: Totally-Yatal

Full Name (plus titles if any): Edward Cullen, Harry Potter. Bonus one-shot sues in the forms of "Alex Cullen" and "Kat Potter".
Full Species(es): Vampire and human, I'd assume. I could be wrong.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not described, assumed to be canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not described, assumed to be canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None. See below.
Special Possessions (if any): A "dress". A "magic stick". Dreadful prose. No description whatsoever.

Annoying Origin: The demented mind of a twelve-year-old. No, really. Profile says the author's twelve year's old.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Supposedly are canon characters.
Annoying Special Abilities: None that I can see.
Other Annoying Traits: The author seemed to think it was a good idea to write the fic in script format, because "it's not like a book!!" If you're going to be this lazy--seriously, she doesn't separate actions from dialogue in any way--don't write fanfiction.
...I think the author's a she, anyway. I could be wrong, the profile's kind of ambiguous.
Also, from what I can tell, this is not a troll. The author has other stories, favorites and a relatively coherent profile.

Sporking with me for the final posted chapter of this monstrosity are Khaliiz and Nevaeh.

That’s not Nevaeh.

Sorry, what?

You’re not Nevaeh. Nevaeh’s…well, Nevaeh’s a girl. You’re very clearly a male halfling.

Yeah, well, he had a nice shape. I couldn’t help myself. Besides, it gets boring being female all of the time.

…right.

I wasn't kidding. In the least. )

More Scriptiness

  • Dec. 19th, 2008 at 6:26 PM
alt happy 2

 

Story Or Series Title: Harry Potter vs Edward Cullen
Fandom: OMG RPATTZ WUZ A VAMPIRE AND CEDRIC IN DA MOVIES LETS RITE A KROSSOVER LOLOLOL
Culprit Author's Name: Totally-Yatal

Full Name (plus titles if any): Edward Cullen, Harry Potter. Bonus one-shot sues in the forms of "Alex Cullen" and "Kat Potter".
Full Species(es): Vampire and human, I'd assume. I could be wrong.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not described, assumed to be canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not described, assumed to be canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None. See below.
Special Possessions (if any): A "dress". A "magic stick". Dreadful prose. No description whatsoever.

Annoying Origin: The demented mind of a twelve-year-old. No, really. Profile says the author's twelve year's old.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Supposedly are canon characters.
Annoying Special Abilities: None that I can see.
Other Annoying Traits: The author seemed to think it was a good idea to write the fic in script format, because "it's not like a book!!" If you're going to be this lazy--seriously, she doesn't separate actions from dialogue in any way--don't write fanfiction.
...I think the author's a she, anyway. I could be wrong, the profile's kind of ambiguous.

Sporking with me today is Nevaeh, who will be hanging around for the rest of this fic, and Khaliiz, who had to return from the hunt due to a kobold-bite.

Damn catfights…

Sorry I missed it.



Harry is not a short kid in a dress. STFU. )

Entry about entries.

  • Dec. 18th, 2008 at 11:09 AM
alt happy 2
Recent visitors to my journal have taken notice of the "eyesores" that litter its pages, filling precious bandwidth with multicolored badfic. While I don't mind the chance to introduce others to the wonders of sporking, it does get annoying when I have to re-explain it to several different people.

To prevent this, then, I am compiling an entry on reading, writing and enjoying sporks.

RPattz never gets a break.

  • Dec. 17th, 2008 at 3:40 PM
Chaotic Neutral

Story Or Series Title: Harry Potter vs Edward Cullen
Fandom: OMG RPATTZ WUZ A VAMPIRE AND CEDRIC IN DA MOVIES LETS RITE A KROSSOVER LOLOLOL
Culprit Author's Name: Totally-Yatal

Full Name (plus titles if any): Edward Cullen, Harry Potter. Bonus one-shot sues in the forms of "Alex Cullen" and "Kat Potter".
Full Species(es): Vampire and human, I'd assume. I could be wrong.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not described, assumed to be canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not described, assumed to be canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None. See below.
Special Possessions (if any): A "dress". A "magic stick". Dreadful prose. No description whatsoever.

Annoying Origin: The demented mind of a twelve-year-old. No, really. Profile says the author's twelve year's old.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Supposedly are canon characters.
Annoying Special Abilities: None that I can see.
Other Annoying Traits: The author seemed to think it was a good idea to write the fic in script format, because "it's not like a book!!" If you're going to be this lazy--seriously, she doesn't separate actions from dialogue in any way--don't write fanfiction.
...I think the author's a she, anyway. I could be wrong, the profile's kind of ambiguous.

Sporking with me today is Nevaeh.
As per usual, I will be in bold.

Script formats should only be reserved for plays, presentations and multiple personalities. )

Shite: She's back and bitchier than ever.

  • Dec. 4th, 2008 at 3:16 PM
alt happy 2

Story Or Series Title: Secret
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Previously Unmentioned Suebling
Culprit Author's Name: Lumcer

Full Name (plus titles if any): Shie Amara Lieto Potter
Full Species(es): Harry's Sister
Hair Color (include adjectives): "dark brown hair matted" Has apparently been changed to long red hair. I'm getting hints of Ginny-envy.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "the shade of pearl blue"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Pale cheeks.
Special Possessions (if any): Harry's guardianship. Bandages. A flashback. Babelfish German. A stu companion named Tuli. Screams that trigger Harry's PTSD.

Annoying Origin: AU!Lily's womb
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Harry's sister
Annoying Special Abilities: Can cow Harry with her super-angsty-bitchiness. 
Other Annoying Traits: Possible membership to the Bemba Tribe. The aforementioned super-angsty-bitchiness.

It appears that there's been of a mishap on the hunt for the "e". I was not told what happened, only that all my usual sporkers cannot be present for this latest installment. So instead, I introduce my latest D&D character: Nevaeh a doppleganger rogue with a ridiculous libido.
I'd prefer the term "unfulfilled desires", thanks.
Er...all right, then. I, of course, will be in bold.

First Author's Note )
In which Shite whinges some more. )
Second Author's Note )

I don’t know, I was rather enjoying this. It rather reminded me of this one time in a Red Wizard enclave—

No need to elaborate any further.

Now introducing: The Text Block o' Doom!

  • Oct. 15th, 2008 at 6:24 PM
alt happy 2

Story Or Series Title: Strange Changes are Upon Us
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Horny Fangirl
Culprit Author's Name: Hawk's-GaL4077

Full Name (plus titles if any): Susan
Full Species(es): Puella spunkiana et moderna
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not Described, assumed to be blonde.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Teal, I think.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None Described
Special Possessions (if any): "one of Molly's signature sweaters amungst the robes and uniforms.It was A deep teal with a lilac "S" on it with small lilac stars sprinkled around it". Massive text blocks o' doom. A fanfiction.

Annoying Origin: Quoth the Suethor, "No more red bull and chocolate for me before bed."
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to have been yoinked in by the Room of Requirement for the sole purpose of having several Hogwarts boys fight over her. 
Annoying Special Abilities: Can jump into her own fanfiction.
Other Annoying Traits: A self-insert in the worst way. There's really nothing I can say about her or her story, other than the Suethor's atrocious lack of formatting skills.

This was originally going to be sporked with Istel. Though her snark would have been greatly appreciated, it would have left the hunting party with only one ranger. Serafina has, therefore, agreed to rejoin me for this spork. I, of course, will be in bold.

This had better be quick, I'm missing the fun.
You know they're not going to be killing the "e", right?
That's not what I'm worried about. How the hell am I supposed to write a decent ballad afterwards if I'm not there?
I'm sure they'll tell you about it afterwards.
And they'll get it all wrong.
I promise I'll let you go right after the spork, all right?
Fine. I'm not coming back until after the hunt, though.
Deal.

Onward and upward. Whee! )There, now! That wasn't so bad, was it?
...
Seraf?
I'm leaving now. Too...much...AUGH.

alt happy 2

Story Or Series Title: Truth or Dare
Fandom: OMGVOLDEMORTIZTEHSEXEE!!!11!
Culprit Author's Name: Voldemort-Lover-4-Ever. No shit.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Bellatrix Lestrange
Full Species(es): Puella Psuedocanonica
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not Described
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not Described
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None yet
Special Possessions (if any): A "cackle of madness". A "soft melodic laugh". Fear of being turning into a toucan. Voldemort's 'nads.

Annoying Origin: Well, when a mommy Pureblood and a daddy Pureblood love eachother very much...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Supposedly is one. I don't believe it.
Annoying Special Abilities: Able to turn the Death Eaters into giggly teenagers. Can change her laugh at will. Can "curse in a hysterical manner".
Other Annoying Traits: She's Bellatrix. Playing true or dare. Need I say more?

My usual sporkers are still on their quest to find that missing "e", though Serafina has informed me that they may have picked up its trail. So instead, my guest sporker today is the indomitable Andre LeFarr, Victorian dandy extraordinare. I, of course, will be in bold.


 

A kiss for Voldemort? In two chapters? Yeah, because he's definitely one to be romantic like that... )

Nothing is Sacred Anymore. Nothing.

  • Oct. 4th, 2008 at 11:17 AM
alt happy 2

Story Or Series Title: Truth or Dare
Fandom: OMGVOLDEMORTIZTEHSEXEE!!!11!
Culprit Author's Name: Voldemort-Lover-4-Ever. No shit.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Bellatrix Lestrange
Full Species(es): Puella Psuedocanonica
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not Described
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not Described
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None yet 
Special Possessions (if any): A "cackle of madness". A "soft melodic laugh". Fear of being turning into a toucan. Voldemort's 'nads, most likely.

Annoying Origin: Well, when a mommy Pureblood and a daddy Pureblood love eachother very much...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Supposedly is one. I don't believe it.
Annoying Special Abilities: Able to turn the Death Eaters into giggly teenagers. Can change her laugh at will.
Other Annoying Traits: She's Bellatrix. Playing true or dare. Need I say more?

My usual sporkers have decided they are taking a hiatus for this fic, putting aside all differences to hunt down Dumbledore's neglected "e". So instead, we have an armchair psychologist and a very good friend of mine. Ladies and gentlemen of Deleterius, I give you Dan. I, of course, will be sporking in bold.

You have GOT to be kidding me. )
alt happy 2

Story Or Series Title:
Secret
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Previously Unmentioned Suebling
Culprit Author's Name: Lumcer

Full Name (plus titles if any): Shie Amara Lieto Potter
Full Species(es): Harry's Sister
Hair Color (include adjectives): "dark brown hair matted"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "the shade of pearl blue"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Nothing yet mentioned.
Special Possessions (if any): Harry's guardianship. Bandages. A flashback. Babelfish German. A stu companion named Tuli.

Annoying Origin: AU!Lily's womb
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Harry's sister
Annoying Special Abilities: Fate favors her. I suppose that counts.
Other Annoying Traits: Possible membership to the Bemba Tribe. Super-angsty-bitchiness.

Sporking today are Khaliiz and Serafina. I, of course, am in bold.

Stop writing disclaimers. Especially redundant ones. )
Bitch. Please. )

 

This almost beats the chapter for sheer stupidity. )
Still want that ammo, Seraf?
Do you really have to ask?
alt happy 2
Story Or Series Title: Secret
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Previously Unmentioned Suebling
Culprit Author's Name: Lumcer

Full Name (plus titles if any): Shie. I'm assuming her last name is Potter.
Full Species(es): Harry's Sister
Hair Color (include adjectives): "dark brown hair matted"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "the shade of pearl blue"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Nothing yet mentioned.
Special Possessions (if any): Harry's guardianship. Bandages. A flashback. Babelfish German. A stu companion named Tuli.

Annoying Origin: AU!Lily's womb
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Harry's sister
Annoying Special Abilities: Fate favors her. I suppose that counts.
Other Annoying Traits: None yet, but they'll surely manifest.

And here it is, fellow Deletrians, the moment we've all been dreading: Harry meets his suebling for the first time. Wangst is sure to ensue.
Sporking with me today are Nimtheriel and Khaliiz (kah-leez) Blackhand, kinslayer and adoptee of House Renor'ath.
Only because Oberyn was unavailable.
Or because you're the less pompous of the two.
Anyway. Onward!

The suethor expresses her disappointment in us. BAWWWWW. )
Barf bags might come in handy. )
Another Author's Note of FAIL )
alt happy 2
Story Or Series Title: Secret
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Previously Unmentioned Suebling
Culprit Author's Name: Lumcer

Full Name (plus titles if any): Shie. I'm assuming her last name is Potter.
Full Species(es): Harry's Sister
Hair Color (include adjectives): "dark brown hair matted"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "the shade of pearl blue"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Nothing yet mentioned.
Special Possessions (if any): Harry's guardianship. Bandages. A flashback. Babelfish German.

Annoying Origin: AU!Lily's womb
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Harry's sister
Annoying Special Abilities: Fate favors her. I suppose that counts.
Other Annoying Traits: None yet, but they'll surely manifest.

Today's chapter will be sporked by Istel and Nimtheriel Blackhand, wizard of the drow House Renor'ath. I, of course, will be in bold.

Author's Note )
It only gets worse. )
Endnote of FAIL )

Sporking Practice!

  • Aug. 20th, 2008 at 9:31 PM
alt happy 2

Mostly to perfect technique before I post to Deletrius.

Story Or Series Title: Secret
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Previously Unmentioned Suebling
Culprit Author's Name: Lumcer

Full Name (plus titles if any): Shie. I'm assuming her last name is Potter.
Full Species(es): Harry's Sister
Hair Color (include adjectives): "dark brown hair matted"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "the shade of pearl blue"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Nothing yet mentioned.
Special Possessions (if any): Harry's guardianship. Bandages. A flashback.

Annoying Origin: AU!Lily's womb
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Harry's sister
Annoying Special Abilities: Fate favors her. I suppose that counts.
Other Annoying Traits: None yet, but they'll surely manifest.

In the tradition of many a Deletrius sporker, I will be in bold. I will also be accompanied by several D&D characters of mine. Serafina Karanok, an exceptionally charismatic bard; Istel Theranaudis, an aasimar ranger with a smart mouth; and Archer-Girl, a slightly insane Kobold whose name no one can remember. I would have enlisted the help of Tessele Ishevin, my tiefling Paladin, as well, but she's off adventuring.


Chapter One: In Which Harry Recieves OMGShocking News )


 

My OTP Day Submission

  • Jun. 16th, 2008 at 1:05 PM
alt happy 2
Title: Too Strong For Make-Believe
Genre: Het, Romance, possible Crack
Rating: PG-ish
Summary: It was going to be a very strange courtship indeed.
Characters/Pairings: Timothy Latimer, Hutchinson, General Whately (OC), Sister-of-Mine, Latimer/Sister
Notes: Thank you to [info]2cbetter2 and [info]lefarr for your unflagging support and l33t beta skills. 

Even in Low-Res...

  • Feb. 23rd, 2008 at 3:11 AM
alt happy 2

I write way too much fanfiction. Either that, or I haven't written enough and I need some new stuffs. This is ridiculous, I shouldn't be making this many pairings out of Pokemon Crystal. My poor Helena-trainer.

Amongst the thousand-and-one pairings I came up with in five hours are:

-Helena/Eusine
-Helena/Lance
-Helena/Rival
-Helena/Elm's Assistant
-Helena/Bill
-Jasmine/Falkner
-Oak/Elm
-Suicune/Entei
-Lugia/Ho-Oh

Just curious...how many of you lovely people see Suicune and Lugia as females, while having Raikou, Entei and Ho-Oh all be male?
Or is that just me?
Iunno.

Anyhow, I just finished a Helena/Eusine sketch, and if I can ever get the scanner working, I'll post it.

"My Pokemon just got a haircut. Let me show you how strong it is!"
-The Most Priceless Line in Pokemon Crystal

More Adam/Lynda. Hurray.

  • Feb. 18th, 2008 at 2:24 AM
alt happy 2

Title:  There Was the Singing

Genre: Het, Romance

Rating: PG-13

Summary: The first minute, she was utterly helpless, drowning in the cosmos. The next, dissolving into nothing. The third, in a Manchester bedroom. One free trip, courtesy of the Bad Wolf.

Characters/Pairings: Adam Mitchell, Lynda Moss, Adam/Lynda

Notes: The rather fluffy sequel to “Little Lord Fauntleroy”.  This is a bit more involved than the last one, and a beta would be loved.

My New Favorite Poem [And Other Things]

  • Jan. 29th, 2008 at 9:11 PM
Chaotic Neutral


So...what else?

ICJ briefing was hideously boring, but the restaurant we ate at afterwards was deliciously avant-garde.

Fic recommendation, for anyone who would happen to be interested. Meilin's "Valiant"  was a fabulous read, first introduced to me by the lovely folks on Who_OTP. 

If I could think of something else to write, I would. But my brain is fried.

'night.



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