To Our Valued Customer, the Red Knight,

Please go away. We're glad you haven't started making regular visits yet--after all, I don't have to dread a certain week of every month--but you never warn us properly and our front desk manager wishes you'd give her a concrete warning of your reservations.

And while we're at it, could you stop making such a mess whenever you take up residence in the Hotel del Útero? Our staff have used nearly half the towels we have in stock to make sure that no other guests are harmed as a result of your presence. We've also noticed your poor treatment of our hammocks and pool; none of our other guests have had such disregard for our facilities. If this keeps up, we will be forced to take legal action against you.

Finally, we appreciate the time you take to send heralds--however flashy they may be--but you may want to rethink your choice of employees. Obsession has been causing problems with check-in, keeping certain prospective guests away with her blunt manner and thousand-yard stares. Angst has been insulting the entire staff and causing emotional trauma in Housekeeping, HR and the Concierge Desk. Temper has been the instigator of ill-will between the hotel, its mother chain, and certain other franchises--the owner is at her breaking point and desperately wants to punch certain people in the face. We have already placed Cramps, Headaches and Soreness in the custody of the Advil PD on assault and battery charges. Other guests will simply call in when they make a reservation. You are not too good to do that.

In conclusion, Ms. Knight, it would seem that we are forced to keep you as a guest (being that you have a plan of extended stay), but we will not tolerate this blatant disregard for our facilities. Therefore, we would like to request that you keep your visits as quick, clean and painless as possible. It shouldn't be that difficult; after all, there are many other hotels in the area and you can surely stay in one of them.

Sincerely,
The Management
Hotel del Útero

I'm being replaced.

I know I shouldn't be surprised or upset; it's really my fault--homework mixed with poor time management skills, natch--that I haven't been at practice for the past two months. But it does kind of hurt to realise that Cat is, for all intents and purposes, taking my place in the NOD Squad.

/end "poor me" entry

What is it about being seventeen that makes my parents think that they need to protect my virginity? Am I suddenly not competent enough to do so?

I would think that being a goblin under the protection of a priest would make me less likely to be raped, not more. Especially since the event takes place at a Girl Scout campground--that effectively eliminates any instances of alcohol, drugs or sex that might otherwise arise.

And yet it's not safe because Jen's not there.

My sister's already lost hers. She's fifteen. I'm seventeen and still a virgin. I've had several opportunities to lose it but I refuse to do so.

This is all very frustrating. I'm going to bed.

It's probably a bad thing that I'm starting to fret about losing my IG marriage prospect. Just a thought.

I hate Dagordrama.

I hate the fact that I can't talk to half of the people in NOD without them accusing me of something or other.

I hate the fact that whatever I apparently did was usually done carelessly, but yet it's seen as malicious.

I hate the fact that it only hit in full force at the start of my Senior year, and that it couldn't have waited or come earlier.

I hate overreacting to everything because of stress.

I hate fluctuating between sensitive and impervious to insult.

I hate confusion, anger, and sudden emotional explosions that do nothing but make me bitter.

I hate Dagordrama.

Feeling somewhat lost and helpless right now.

I know it's my fault the relationship got broken off in the first place. Me and my lack of control, mixed with his jealousy, well...it wasn't really the greatest match.

I'm still not particularly happy about it. I'm free for the moment, yes, but at the price of one of my few points of stability. And it seems to be an unwritten rule of society that the bitch in the relationship deserves no comfort; that her lot will forever be suffering.

Sebastian would shit bricks if he read this, I know. I can see his little "I told you so" dance right now.

I'm off to try and drown my sorrows in my courseload.

This has just been the greatest day.

/sarcasm

BADON BADON BADON.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst.

More on this development later.

...I wanted to throw a book at Pete's head today in ToK.

It used to be fun to talk politics--or anything, really--with him 'cause you always got this vague impression that he was listening. But I can't even kid myself any more. Nope, there are only two tracks there. Obama and TSA. Get him off one of those and everything goes to shit.

/bitchmoan

(To be fair, though, I kinda wanted to completely forget the whole "throwing" thing and just bash Mark's head in with Bulfinch's Mythology. If you're going to use big words to sound impressive, please use them correctly.)

So, I'm seventeen now. Terrifying.

No Nim, alas, but I did get to watch A Clockwork Orange on a proper TV with Mike and I got a shirt that says "Holy shit! The British are coming again!"

It was a pretty decent day, I suppose.

When one has the house to oneself for a weekend, is not one supposed to see the entire weekend as two to three free days?

'cause I feel like I have this whole big opportunity and I'm wasting it.

No Fort tomorrow, natch. How depressing.

Mother,

Okay, so you don't think I have any ambition, and I'm no good compared to any of the kids you teach.

'kay, that's fine.

But I start to fear for your sanity when you think that threatening to make me work at McDonald's and screaming at me about how I'm listless and lacking in any and all ambition will psych me up for an awesome summer of work or some such bullshit.

No love,
Me

Thus ends the angst-riddled saga of Jacie and Kipp, with a bittersweet kiss on the platform as the train pulls in.

But with the end of this story begins the tale of Jacie and Nathan.

Here's hoping this'll mark the end of my string of stormy relationships.

And on a completely unrelated note, I'm a gobbo now.

"Kedric [Varangia]" (9:46:35 PM): Oh, and your kiss, was dissapointing in the extreme. It was like a hug, only wet. and with a green-faced freak.

This marks the last time I ever entrust my heart to a pretty-boy.

But, really, Kedric?

Thank you. Not for being a bastard when I asked you to, but for finally making me realise that you are human, with human flaws.

Perhaps when this shitstorm blows over, we can be friends again.

I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart and killed me,
And tore me to pieces,
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned, it hurt, because I was so happy for you!

Now, these points of data make a beautiful line,
And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time.
So, I'm glad I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned for the people that are still alive!

Go ahead and leave me,
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa.
That was a joke, haha, fat chance.
Anyway, this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist.

Look at me still talking when there's science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me glad I'm not you.
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive.

Dear Self,

You know there is almost nothing better than than being needed. You love the feeling you get when someone knows they can entrust you with all their secrets. Hell, you love knowing the secrets. It's why you became a confidante and conscience in the first place.

But really, old girl, don't you think you're spreading yourself a little thin?

Now, hear me out for a moment. You may think you're all tough and resilient and a smart-ass little kobold girl who no-one can hurt. Quite often, you are that very thing. But please remember this: you're not invulnerable.

In fact, let me say it again.

You are not invulnerable.

Why do these people need a confidante, again?
Because they need somewhere to unload their most troubling and/or secret thoughts, right?
Right.
So why don't you have one, hm?

Oh. Right.

Your fucking pride, Self. Your goddamn sense of duty.

You can't stop absorbing the shadows of others long enough to step back and examine the ever-widening fault lines that are slowly starting to weaken your sanity.

You nearly cried today, remember? For no reason at all.

Why didn't you talk to Surg about it?

Because you made it clear that you would listen to his troubles, as opposed to the other way around.

Ironically enough, darling Self, the only person you haven't eliminated for this is Drinian. And we both know that you're never going to be able to talk to him if you can't stop trying to bring him down off of his high horse. Can we work on that so we at least have one viable outlet?

Look, I know you think this is selfish.

But if you don't fix this soon, you'll be severely screwed in the long run.

Love,
Me

Dear Peter,

You make a promise, you keep it.

Don't think you're going to weasel your way out of making me your Senatorial Aide by saying you think I won't have any fun. Who are you to judge my sense of fun, anyway?

I quite agree with Dumbledore's analysis of such a situation, namely "Oh, [she] never takes the throne. [She] actually prefers the back seat. More room to stretch out, you see."

Look, if you don't want me to be your Aide, tell me so instead of trying to sweet-talk your way of the situation. I may get butthurt for a bit, but I'll have infinitely more respect for you. Ms. Trojan already tried to let me down nicely. That's actually  more painful; I'd really much rather be slapped than go through hours of mild torture.

In conclusion, either keep your promise or break it. Don't keep me hanging in the balance.

Very little love,
Jacie

Because we're screwed up enough to warrant one.

The results for Delaware's Super Tuesday Primary:

 Republicans:

John "Da Big MC" McCain: 45%
Mitt "More Money Than God" Romney: 32.5%
Mike "God Says Vote" Huckabee: 15.3%
Ron "T3H INT3RW3BS" Paul: 4.2%
Other: 2.8%


Democrats:
Barack "It's a B, not an S" Obama: 53.1%
Hilary "It Worked For My Husband" Clinton: 42.3%
Joe "I Are Articulate" Biden: 3%
John "I'm Try To Become the Fzcking President" Edwards: 1.3%
Other: .4%




Seriously, what the hell? I can understand Obama, but Da Big MC? I don't see what he's got going for him, other than T-Stanz's massive tirades about how he's completely honest and all that jazz.

Ugh.

Well, it's 2008.

I've left the Kirbies and been mocked for it.

If this is a precursor to the rest of the year, just kill me after I get confession now.

Thank God for Matthew.

"Give me your hands if we be friends
And Robin shall restore amends."
-Puck, closing lines of A Midsummer's Night Dream