Chocolate and Shiny Things

Happiness is...

2009-11-27T04:03:56Z

...rigging up a makeshift landing pad out of afghans and cushions, getting a fluzzy blanket, and stair-sledding with your little cousins.
...a tryptophan-laden feast, complete with brownies and a triple-decker chocolate cake.
...nearly murderizing your favorite cousin with an unexpected bear hug.
...watching Hairspray with the family.
...when your cousins play piano and constantly switch between Pachabel's Canon, Chopsticks, random etudes and ritzy 1920's type music.
...learning that your uncle used to do impromptu stripteases in front of the mirror before he got into the tub.
...watching your uncle give an alcohol-assisted demonstration (in which no clothing was removed).
...playing Rock Band on no-fail mode with your five-year-old cousin on drums.
...completely failing at singing "Livin' on a Prayer" and getting no criticism for it.
...coming up with cunnin' plans to set up a friend with my favorite cousin.
...listening to Journey of the Centre of the Earth on the way home, which was then followed by the Chipmunk Song and David Foster's Carol of the Bells.
...smelling pine in the air.
...the Venetian masks my aunt brought back as presents.

Happy Thanksgiving, indeed.

feldjagerpistol @ 2009-11-26T12:13:00

2009-11-26T17:14:06Z

Happy Thankgiving to the Americans of my flist!

Stolen from PhantomReviewer

2009-11-23T04:34:18Z

"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. So please put a penny in the old man's hat. If you haven't got a penny a ha'penny will do. And if you haven't got a ha'penny then God bless you."

Wishlist Instructions:

Step One
Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Jensen/Jared icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
Surf around your flist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals, or holiday_wishes) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:
If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.
You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.
There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

I wish for...
1. A funny, possibly fluffy Firefly fic wherein River gets pursued by an overeager boy from one of the border planets. If done right, I think it could be absolutely adorable.
2. The Salutations and/or Highlands dresses.
3. An Amazon gift certificate.
4. A heartfelt compliment from a Certain Person.
5. An actual letter. Not an email or a text, but a proper letter. Preferably handwritten.
6. The Housewives tarot deck.
7. D&D books, especially Heroes of Horror, Waterdeep: The City of Splendours, Exemplars of Evil, Faiths and Pantheons and Elder Evils.
8. Any World of Darkness book.
9. A way to attend both the December and January events for KR.
10. A Certain Person on my doorstep on Boxing Day, wearing a big red bow. Other clothing is optional, but preferred.

A Semi-Formal Letter of Complaint

2009-11-23T03:51:11Z

To Our Valued Customer, the Red Knight,

Please go away. We're glad you haven't started making regular visits yet--after all, I don't have to dread a certain week of every month--but you never warn us properly and our front desk manager wishes you'd give her a concrete warning of your reservations.

And while we're at it, could you stop making such a mess whenever you take up residence in the Hotel del Útero? Our staff have used nearly half the towels we have in stock to make sure that no other guests are harmed as a result of your presence. We've also noticed your poor treatment of our hammocks and pool; none of our other guests have had such disregard for our facilities. If this keeps up, we will be forced to take legal action against you.

Finally, we appreciate the time you take to send heralds--however flashy they may be--but you may want to rethink your choice of employees. Obsession has been causing problems with check-in, keeping certain prospective guests away with her blunt manner and thousand-yard stares. Angst has been insulting the entire staff and causing emotional trauma in Housekeeping, HR and the Concierge Desk. Temper has been the instigator of ill-will between the hotel, its mother chain, and certain other franchises--the owner is at her breaking point and desperately wants to punch certain people in the face. We have already placed Cramps, Headaches and Soreness in the custody of the Advil PD on assault and battery charges. Other guests will simply call in when they make a reservation. You are not too good to do that.

In conclusion, Ms. Knight, it would seem that we are forced to keep you as a guest (being that you have a plan of extended stay), but we will not tolerate this blatant disregard for our facilities. Therefore, we would like to request that you keep your visits as quick, clean and painless as possible. It shouldn't be that difficult; after all, there are many other hotels in the area and you can surely stay in one of them.

Sincerely,
The Management
Hotel del Útero

Meh.

2009-11-22T03:56:15Z

I'm being replaced.

I know I shouldn't be surprised or upset; it's really my fault--homework mixed with poor time management skills, natch--that I haven't been at practice for the past two months. But it does kind of hurt to realise that Cat is, for all intents and purposes, taking my place in the NOD Squad.

/end "poor me" entry

feldjagerpistol @ 2009-11-19T22:21:00

2009-11-20T03:21:33Z

What is it about being seventeen that makes my parents think that they need to protect my virginity? Am I suddenly not competent enough to do so?

I would think that being a goblin under the protection of a priest would make me less likely to be raped, not more. Especially since the event takes place at a Girl Scout campground--that effectively eliminates any instances of alcohol, drugs or sex that might otherwise arise.

And yet it's not safe because Jen's not there.

My sister's already lost hers. She's fifteen. I'm seventeen and still a virgin. I've had several opportunities to lose it but I refuse to do so.

This is all very frustrating. I'm going to bed.

Christmas Fics!

2009-11-17T01:41:27Z

Since I don't have enough time or money to send out Christmas cards, I figured this might be a nice alternative. Leave a comment if you want one.

When requesting a fic, please use the following form:
Poetry or Prose?:
Fandom:
Pairing:
Genre:
Type of Fic (Minific, Drabble, etc.):
Rating:
Any Other Specifics:

Some Guidelines and Caveats:
1. Please don't request anything over a thousand words.
2. If you ask for a slashfic, I'll gladly write it. Bear in mind, though, that it'll probably be the first one I've ever written.
3. Anything with a rating of R or over will either be co-authored or ghostwritten.
4. Submit form before 11:59 pm on December 23rd. I'll try to have all stories done by Christmas, but if I get everything at the last minute, I can't guarantee that they'll all be finished by then.
5. If you don't see the fandom you want on the list below, feel free to ask. I may or may not be able to write it.
6. I'll happily write a romantic fic for anything on this list but A Clockwork Orange.

Fandoms
Firefly/Serenity
Doctor Who (New and Old)
Earthsea
Harvest Moon
Harry Potter
Dungeons and Dragons
Are You Being Served?
Shakespeare
A Clockwork Orange
Conspiracy Theories*
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
RENT
Phantom of the Opera
Corpse Bride

*Pick your favorite. I'll write a fic about it, probably a humorous one.

feldjagerpistol @ 2009-11-15T22:41:00

2009-11-16T03:41:25Z

It's probably a bad thing that I'm starting to fret about losing my IG marriage prospect. Just a thought.

-incredibly confused-

2009-11-15T01:41:39Z

Found during one particularly intense session of Stumbling:

"On October 31, 2006 he [Alexander Litvinenko] went to his office and overheard Alexey Shiklomanov, his boss, and some colleagues talking about how the assassination went off without a hitch...the sushi bar owner eventually confessed that Alexey Shiklomanov paid him to poison Litvinenko’s food. Shiklomanov got away and remains hiding in an unknown location until this day."

Um, what?

I'm pretty sure the key suspect in this case is Andrei Lugovoi, not our friendly neighborhood communist. I didn't rule out a case of mistaken identity, so I totes did some extensive research, you guys (read: I looked it up on Wikipedia and reread my notes from ICJ). None of the suspects seems to sport that particular name.

So either the girls who wrote this paper--for it is an Honors Chemistry paper--slapped two Russian-looking names together for effect and that bizarre coincidence resulted, or someone has it out for him.

Interesting.

Sucktacular.

2009-11-13T20:00:49Z

So I just found out that my ride to Moresca forgot that I was going and didn't save me a seat.

All I have to look forward to now is a college visit.

I hate college visits.

Fucking brilliant.

What passes for a magnificent day in the life of Iz'tel.

2009-11-10T21:38:43Z

1. Failing at shouting down my English teacher, but getting points for trying.
2. Seeing pictures of fluzzy white mice in the science book.
3. Finding out that I now have "regulars" for Tarot reading, and piquing someone's interest.
4. The awesome sub in Math.
5. Getting a 3.0 for this quarter. Whoo!
6. The field hockey game. The bees were bad, but the soccer team sans Alexey proved themselves to be a bunch of magnificent twatwaffles. Kind of like a tamer version of Urk Kuldar, really. I wish I could consider one of those boys my brother, but...meh.
7. Getting a ride home from Alexey. Had you told me back in freshman year that this would have happened, I would have laughed in your face. Progress towards some form of a friendship is clicking along nicely.

Hope Lodge

2009-11-09T00:18:53Z

Highlights:
-Warm day was warm. I didn't even need my cloak.
-Getting to wear my gold dress.
-Seeing Pano again. Whee!
-My new pearl-on-a-string.
-Playing with fire.
-Conversations with Rich, among others.
-Coming home and smelling like smoke.
-My favorite wall ever.

Lowlights:
-Smoke-induced headache.
-Yellowjackets swarming everywhere. Not just in our camp, but throughout the park. Thomas got stung.
-It really shouldn't bother me that Joe will flirt with anyone but me, but...
-Finding out that this was the 43rd's last reenactment for the year.

Next stop: Trenton!
(Possibly Ironworks, but that's doubtful.)

-drool-

2009-11-07T19:34:24Z

I'm feeling curiously like a seventeen-year-old girl right now. That seems to be happening a lot.

I've just spent the past half-hour drooling over vintage dresses. Matthew would be proud of my taste, methinks. They're not all attractive, but some of them are drop-dead gorgeous.

Some of my favorites:

Got Something to Say?
Steel My Kisses
Salutations--this one would be great for MUN
Cezanne
Creme de la Creme
Carriage Tour
Highlands

Now, to find a way to get monies...

Madame Senator

2009-11-05T00:46:02Z

Well, it appears that I did not completely fail this year's Senatorial interview. In fact, quite the opposite. I'm currently resisting the temptation to jump up and down while shrieking incoherently.

I was not prepared for that interview. I didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I was deathly afraid.

But it appears that a little bit of restraint and a lot of arrogance go a long way.

I've been selected as the ranking member of the committee I explicitly told my interviewer I know nothing about.

Life is kind of amazing right now.

Bits and Pieces

2009-11-04T03:58:46Z

-Moresca is in eleven days.

-I went to see Colin Powell speak tonight. He was amazing, and probably the only truly nonpartisan speaker I've ever had the pleasure of listening to.

-It's probably not a good thing that I've been going through a series of mini existential crises all this year, but meh, whatever.

-My talks with a Certain Viking have become more frequent and more enjoyable. Progress, it is made!

-My sister and I have started playing Animal Crossing again. Currently, she's in the ER for back pain--and I hate to say "lucky me", but if I didn't, I'd be lying--and I'm off to start playing in a couple of minutes.

-One of my pet freshmen gave me a quartz crystal. It is shiny.

-I'm actually not angsty at something or other tonight. Even the Russian's continued silence and refusal to acknowledge me is not bothering me at all. This is a strange feeling. I think I like it, though.

How to Be Iz'tel In Ten Easy Steps

2009-11-02T22:39:21Z

Don't ask me why; this just kind of popped into my head this morning.

1. Grow your hair long. If it is not brown, dye it to that color. If it is not naturally frizzy/wavy, crimp it on a daily basis.
2. Develop obsessions with shiny things, fire, cookies and things that jingle.
3. Learn how to make certain foods, such as pierogies and spicy chicken and stars, and enjoy them. You will eat them whenever you get the chance.
4. Develop a vindictive streak. This is especially important in step five.
5. Work on your coping mechanisms. When faced with emotional trauma, you will take it one of three ways; either constantly crack jokes about it (often jokes that are in bad taste), want to know as much about it as you possibly can, or completely shut down except for crying jags and the vindictive streak mentioned in step four.
6. Have intense emotions, but make sure the louder emotions don't last for too long. You will never have a grudge against someone if you're yelling at them.
7. The words "elf-fucker" and "twatwaffle" are inherently funny and should be used whenever possible. Other nonsensical insults such as "assgoblin", "chickentits", "asshat" and "bullfuck" may be used where appropriate.
8. Brush up your Shakespeare. Also, brush up on your history, drama, Latin, Spanish and English in general. This last one is important; you will need to be the grammar nazi to end all grammar nazis.
9. Develop short, intense obsessions with certain things, then get bored of them and move on. This will not only entertain you for short periods of time, but will increase your intelligence as you will pick up a lot of trivial knowledge along the way.
10. If there is a pretty boy, you must chase him. No questions asked.

Stolen from phantomreviewer

2009-11-01T16:13:21Z

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
feldjagerpistol goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as River Tam.
author_by_night tricks you! You get a dead frog.
ejnivy tricks you! You get a dead frog.
fatalflaw5 gives you 6 yellow lemon-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
heartexplosion7 gives you 1 light green coffee-flavoured jawbreakers.
hyenadandy tricks you! You get a rock.
krynnmeridia gives you 16 light blue orange-flavoured gummy bats.
maeglin_dubh tricks you! You get a piece of paper.
meilin_miranda gives you 8 mauve spearmint-flavoured pieces of taffy.
phantomreviewer tricks you! You lose 21 pieces of candy!
squishysurg92 tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
feldjagerpistol ends up with 9 pieces of candy, a dead frog, a dead frog, a rock, and a piece of paper.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

A little, happyish update.

2009-10-31T02:25:17Z

Matt, Mike and I managed to get the test of our new podcast, Aluminum Haberdashery, done tonight. We ended up talking about the "Princess Diana is a Vampire" theory; the recording clocked in at just under nine minutes for maybe two hundred words of text. That was exciting.

Granted, the echo on the recorder needs to be fixed. It's difficult to understand Matt when he sounds like he's standing in a cave.

Can't wait for next week!

-raises hand-

2009-10-21T23:08:44Z

All those who miss Henry and who think we need to kidnap him back to Delaware, please say Aye.

Leon Trotsky

2009-10-16T06:41:14Z

I'd hit it.

It's Raining.

2009-10-15T19:05:16Z

Nothing really special. It's been an okay day.

Thank God for Invisible Children, though. That fucking Leadership class was completely omitted today in favor of the assembly.

In terms of assemblies, it wasn't terrible. Though, when you take into account that this is Mount, that's really not saying much. Whatever. It served its purpose, and my tear ducts now hurt from my attempts at faking tears--when the eye of the administration is upon you in such a situation, the proper course of action is to make it look as though you're overcome with emotion.

Had Peter drive me home instead of taking the bus. I've decided I quite enjoy car rides with my favorite Democrat.

Other than that, it's been a thoroughly unremarkable day. I'm hoping something interesting will happen.

feldjagerpistol @ 2009-10-12T03:04:00

2009-10-12T07:07:57Z

I'm feeling rather colorless right now. But not the bad kind of colorless, like that watery, miserably gray. This is a rather crystalline sort of colorless, like a block of pure quartz with a slight cloudiness and little rainbows trapped in the middle.

It could have something to do with it being three in the morning.

It might have to do with the weirdass turn my friendship with Nim has taken.

Maybe it's related to the fact that the Russian is suddenly paying more attention to me than my own teacher/older brother.

Whatever it is, it's not entirely unpleasant.

Hey look, a semi-serious entry on something other than angst!

2009-10-09T15:44:35Z

Oh, for Christ's sake. As if he needed something else to gloat about.

For those of you who haven't heard yet, Barack Obama has won this year's Nobel Peace Prize "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples."

...bwuh?

author_by_night compared the award to giving a runner first place before he finished the marathon. It's not a bad analogy, but I like Kedric's comparison better; it's more like giving a schoolboy a gold star for effort or nominating the quarterback for Homecoming King.

This sort of thing, unfortunately, isn't uncommon with the Nobel Peace prize. According to WikiPedia--so feel free to take this with a grain of salt--past winners have included Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, Yasser Arafat, the United Nations (twice!), Mikhail Gorbachev, Elie Wiesel, Amnesty International, the UN High Commissioner for Refugees (again, twice!), and Frederic Passy (who headed the first Nobel Peace Prize council).

Notable exceptions are Mahatma Gandhi, Pope John Paul II, Dorothy Day, Oscar Romero, and Irena Sendler.

See anything wrong with this picture?

So far, Obama has managed to nominate a Supreme Court Justice, write up a stimulus package, buy up GM and Chrysler, and announce a "new era" of diplomacy. That's great! Not anything extraordinary, certainly--you'll notice most of it was talk--but good for a president.

Oh, wait...

"Extraordinary efforts."

Hm.

Something is off-balance here.

/endrepublicanrant

More to come, certainly.

feldjagerpistol @ 2009-10-06T22:55:00

2009-10-07T03:03:33Z

I hate Dagordrama.

I hate the fact that I can't talk to half of the people in NOD without them accusing me of something or other.

I hate the fact that whatever I apparently did was usually done carelessly, but yet it's seen as malicious.

I hate the fact that it only hit in full force at the start of my Senior year, and that it couldn't have waited or come earlier.

I hate overreacting to everything because of stress.

I hate fluctuating between sensitive and impervious to insult.

I hate confusion, anger, and sudden emotional explosions that do nothing but make me bitter.

I hate Dagordrama.

Brief Overview of Yesterday

2009-10-04T17:38:40Z

American University was awesome. I really do think it's my first choice of school, but at the same time, I think it's a bad idea to want to go to a school because they trick-or-treat at the embassies (obviously, that's not the only reason, but still).

Knight of Music was also awesome. Someone actually made a point of speaking to me during Long Reach's show--a far better record than the fiasco with the candy bars two years ago--so I think I'm making some progress away from the status of "creepy Polish stalker girl". We shall see.
Apart from that, the shows were really excellent, the moon was full, and people were in high spirits. It was a good comp, all in all.

But the best part of the night?

Coming home and nearly stepping on a black, leather-bound, gold-embossed copy of the Necronomicon, left by a certain sociopath as a "cheer up" gift.

I love my life.